TPU's unofficial cool news stories thread

[cdawall]

well this is were those who cannot post in the real news thread can post fun news that the find

most be true and have a source
cannot be deplorable to anyone (important at least)

[cdawall]

to start i give you this

To help reduce corruption Mexican police loose there guns and receive slingshots and ball bearings instead. This is because 13 officers were shot dead in the last year alone due to the corruption amongst the officers

source (http://www.nysun.com/article/47281)

[ghost101]

to start i give you this

to help lower Mexican police loose there guns and receive slingshots and ball bearings instead.

source (http://www.nysun.com/article/47281)

If this is the shape of news to come, no thank you :laugh:

It doesnt make sense ;)

Good idea though.

[cdawall]

If this is the shape of news to come, no thank you :laugh:

It doesnt make sense ;)

Good idea though.

oh it was just a fun one im sure there will be some other more realistic news aswell

[ghost101]

oh it was just a fun one im sure there will be some other more realistic news aswell

the news was fine its just

"to help lower Mexican police loose there guns and receive slingshots and ball bearings instead".

Read that to yourself out loud. I had to look at the source to understand what you were saying.

[cdawall]

agg sry i erased something and didnt fix it :shadedshu

[zekrahminator]

Psssh, don't call it "cdawalls new thread" like some kind of spam, allow me to mod the title to something more worthwhile.

[cdawall]

Psssh, don't call it "cdawalls new thread" like some kind of spam, allow me to mod the title to something more worthwhile.

sry mod master :(

[zekrahminator]

:roll: 'Tis okay, depending on the responses, I'll sticky it.

[cdawall]

:roll: 'Tis okay, depending on the responses, I'll sticky it.

coolieo

[ghost101]

Boy's screaming kills chickens

Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in eastern China - and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog.

According to a local newspaper, the bizarre sequence events began when the boy arrived at a village home in the eastern province of Jiangsu in the summer with his father who was delivering bottles of gas.

A villager was quoted as saying the little boy bent over the hen house window, screaming for a long time, after being scared by the dog.

"One neighbour told police that he had heard the boy's crying that afternoon and another villager confirmed the boy screaming by the hen house window," the newspaper said.

A court ruled the boy's screaming was "the only unexpected abnormal sound" and that the 443 chickens trampled each other to death in fear.

The boy's father was ordered to pay around £117 in compensation to the owner of the chickens.

source (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=34513&in_page_id=2)

[ghost101]

An iguana called Mozart, who has had a permanent erection since he mated a week ago, may have to have his penis cut off if his condition does not subside.

But, even if amputation is necessary, the future is not entirely bleak – the lizards have two penises.

Keepers at Aquatopia Zoo in Antwerp, Belgium, will make their decision tomorrow.

source (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=34412&in_page_id=2)

[ex_reven]

*Puts on newscasters voice*

"In the news today.."
A study in Canada suggests that being bilingual will postpone dementia by an average amount of 4.1 years. Apparently regular usage of more than a single language helps the brain continue normal functions even if the brain is beginning to decay or show signs of age.

Online employment agencies in Korea have begun offering services over the phone as stand-in parents, boyfriends, fianc'es, sons and daughters. The services are particularly popular among school student who are either skipping school or their homework.
Some services even offer physical appearances at school, obviously for higher fees.

China continues to suffer from an overbalanced ratio of boys to girls. There are about 118 boys for every hundred girls in china, a result of the tradition of breeding more boys in an attempt to have a strong and long living family name. Estimates quote that if current growth rates go unchecked, that in 15 years there will be 30 million more men than women.

Thanks for tuning in ladies"

Source: TIME Magazine, January 29th 2007

[cdawall]

BEST THREAD SINCE THE CHIKAS THREAD :D started at TPU
source (http://forums.techpowerup.com/member.php?u=28601)

[ex_reven]

BEST THREAD SINCE THE CHIKAS THREAD :D started at TPU
source (http://forums.techpowerup.com/member.php?u=28601)

nice work cdawall

[cdawall]

nice work cdawall

:roll: agg wait i shouldnt crap my own thread back to the NEWS :rolleyes:

[ex_reven]

lmfao

[zekrahminator]

Well worth a sticky, don't spoil it now ;) (I'll make sure the news stories don't go TOO far over the edge).

[cdawall]

Well worth a sticky, don't spoil it now ;).

i will make sure no one craps it :D thanx for the sticky zek :D

[ex_reven]

All news in this thread brought to you by...

The Wile E Coyote News Network

[cdawall]

new avatar for cdawall? :D

[ex_reven]

whatever you like man

i got momentarily bored

[pt]

*newcaster voice*
on today reports it has been proved that man preffer less clothed woman than non-clothed woman, the test consisted in a man put in a room with a buch of naked womens, and half naked ones, and most of them choose a half naked one
they could be all gay, but we ain't sure
pt out :)





*saw on discovery channel or something*

[ex_reven]

they could be all gay, but we ain't sure
pt out :)

thats funny shit
poor dudes dont know what theyr missing.
unless the naked ones were shemales *shudder* :o

[pt]

thats funny shit
poor dudes dont know what theyr missing.
unless the naked ones were shemales *shudder* :o

can't tell

[pt]

Michael Jackson has Mad Cow Disease
A horrible disease

What many people always thought, was yesterday confirmed by a large team of doctors. According to doctor Thomas H Johnson (head of the team), Michael Jackson suffers from the Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE), widely known as the Mad Cow Disease. A few weeks ago they came to the conclusion that Jackson appeared to have all the symptoms of this severe disease and the medical team immediately took a blood proof and came to this awful conclusion.
With a horrible cause

Michael Jackson The exact cause of BSE is not known but it is generally accepted by the scientific community that the likely cause of BSE is cannibalism, which resulted in infectious forms of a type of protein, prions, normally found in animals. In cattle with BSE, these abnormal prions initially occur in the small intestines and tonsils, and are found in central nervous tissues, such as the brain and spinal cord, and other tissues of infected animals experiencing later stages of the disease.

Some rumors, which we will not hush up at Crazy News, say that cannibalism is the real cause in this case. According to these rumors Michael Jackson ate the foremost parts of his nose. This would have caused the formation of the malicious prions, and the beginning of the Mad Cow Disease.

There is no need to panic about this severe disease. It is very rare and the FDA and other federal agencies have had preventive measures in place to reduce the U.S. consumer's risk of exposure to any BSE-contaminated meat and food products. However, if you suffer from the combination of the same symptoms as Michael Jackson, you are strongly advised to contact the medical assistance immediately.
And horrible symptoms

* A very sudden change in the color of the skin. Most patients become totally pale.

* Making strange movements with legs and hands.

* Making weird sounds that look like a mixture of singing and crying.

* Waking up next to children you never saw before in your whole life.

* Standing in front of a mirror and not being able to conclude if you are a girl or a boy.

* Thinking that babies love to fly from balconies.

* Parts of the body, like noses, that begin to shrink suddenly.

source:http://www.crazy-news.net/weird-stories/Media/Singers/mad-cow-disease.php

pt out

[ex_reven]

* Parts of the body, like noses, that begin to shrink suddenly.


They also turn to injection moulded thermal plastics :D

[DaMulta]

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2007-01/25/xinsrc_1320104251729625217145.jpg

BEIJING, Jan. 25 (Xinhuanet) -- Barely a month after becoming the world's oldest person, Emiliano Mercado del Toro died Wednesday at his home in the seaside town of Isabela on the northern coast of Puerto Rico.
Grandniece Dolores Martinez informed The Associated Press of his death at age 115.

"He died like a little angel," Martinez said.

Mercado del Toro was born Aug. 21, 1891, in Cabo Rojo on the southwest tip of the island when Puerto Rico was still a Spanish colony. He never married and had no children.

In an Associated Press interview in August on his 115th birthday, he attributed his longevity to eating right and abstaining from alcohol. He smoked for 76 years, kicking the habit at age 90.

"I never thought I would last so long," he said.

Dr. Stephen Coles, whose Gerontology Research Group at UCLA studies people older than 110, said these so-called supercentenarians have avoided the traditional ailments that remove ordinary people from the population, the top three being, in order, heart disease, cancer and stroke.

"These people who live a long time and have escaped regular diseases usually have a strong and vital life," he said Wednesday.

Mercado del Toro joined the U.S. Army in October 1918 and trained in Panama for a month before World War I ended Nov. 11.

He was discharged the next month and at age 27 returned to the sugar fields of Puerto Rico, where he worked until he was 80.

Blind for the last five years and increasingly hard of hearing, Mercado del Toro became the oldest known person in the world last month when 116-year-old Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bolden died at a nursing home in Tennessee.

A 114-year-old Connecticut woman, Emma Faust Tillman, is now believed to be the oldest living person. She was born Nov. 22, 1892.

According to the Gerontology Research Group's website, there are 36 women older than the oldest man in the world, Tomoji Tanabe of Japan, who was born Sept. 18, 1895.

Coles said researchers "honestly don't know" why there are more women than men older than 110.
Source (http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2007-01/25/content_5653425.htm)

[pt]

3 proofs that aliens really do exist
Just a dream? Yeah, right!

Do you believe in aliens or don't you? From now on, this question is outdated. I always felt they existed. Don't you remember, a short time ago, you were laying in your bed in the dark, and then suddenly you saw two eyes in front of you. You thought it was a dream, huh? It wasn't! It's now proven: aliens do exist! Here are the proofs.
1. Elvis is not dead

elvis I saw him a few weeks ago on the market and he told me he was kidnapped by some aliens, who took him to their planet. But they did some weird stuff with his brain (but I couldn't understand what) and now he forgot most of it, that's a pitty. But he managed to escape and now he's back on earth!

The problem was that nobody recognized him (he looked like a tramp and smelled a bit) and that he had no money. That's why he asked me to take a shower at my home (Elvis Presley took a shower at my place! What an honour!) and to give him some money to buy an airplane ticket to return to the States. BTW did you know that a ticket from Belgium to New York is worth 2000$ ?

That's a lot of money, but he assured me that he would repay me back including a "small" reward (he wasn't very clear about this, but I understood 10% of all his money) and he would let me stay at his place. And then he went away with the money, and from then on he didn't contact me. But my waiting won't be long, as he said he would send the money quick.

That's my first proof. And remember, Elvis Presley is not dead, he was kidnapped by aliens and he took a shower at my place!
2. Space travel is fake

If you always believed that humankind travelled to the moon and that Neill Amstrong was the first human to set a foot on it, then you're wrong. I was that stupid too, but after reading some articles on the internet, I realised it's so obious that NASA is nothing but a huge conspiracy of liars. The whole moon thing is filmed on a soundstage in Nevada’s Area 51, directed by Stanley Kubrick, who was forced to make the movie. The following is the classical view on the "space" history.

It all started with John F Kennedy. One of the reasons he was murdered by the CIA, was that he wanted to cancel the Apollo program. Too many people were going to make too much money from faking the lunar program, so Apollo had to continue.

The Soviet Union didn't win the "space race", because they lacked the filmmaking technology of the United States and thus were unable to fake their own moon missions. They really tried (!) to send real cosmonauts to the moon, but, as you can imagine, they failed. This is stated as the best proof that space travel is impossible with our human technology. You need at least extraterrestrial technology.

Nowadays, computer technology is so advanced that faking new space landings is a piece of cake. It's easy to imagine why George W Bush announced a new Mars program. NASA is right now remodeling the Area 51 soundstage. Apparently, the fat guy who directed the Lord of the Rings movies is in charge of the project.

But what I really think is the real story, is that the United States had access to the flying saucer technology recovered at Roswell in 1947. So who forbade it? The aliens, is the only possible answer. They must have gotten control over America and maybe over the rest of the world. They forced Stanley Kubrick to make the fake space movies. Did you ever ask yourself why Bush makes such a weird decisions? The aliens made it for him!

That's my second proof. And remember, human space travel is fake, you need at least extraterrestrial technology.
3. Saudi "women" wear burkas

Did you really believe that Iraq was invaded because they owned weapons of mass destruction? You must be crazy! There are no such weapons in Iraq. To understand this problem, you obviously need some background

Always felt sorry for those "women" in burka? Well, simply don't. Most of them are aliens, trying to hide their atrocious bodies. They're controlling our world from the Middle East. But the brave Iraqi people revolted against them, and the aliens needed support from American soldiers, because defending themselves would affect too much suspicion.

That's my third proof. And remember, the brave Iraqi people are revolting against the alien domination, and the American soldiers are helping them by oppressing the revolution. What a shame!

pt out
source:http://www.crazy-news.net/weird-stories/Science/Aliens/3-proofs.php

[ex_reven]

this thread is so going to explode :p

[pt]

BEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese police have arrested three men for killing two young women to sell their corpses as "ghost brides" for dead single men, a Chinese newspaper reported, warning the dark custom might have claimed many other victims.

Yang Donghai, a 35-year-old farmer in western China's Shaanxi province, confessed to killing a woman bought from a poor family for 12,000 yuan ($1,545) last year.

She thought she was being sold into an arranged marriage, but Yang killed her in a gully and sold her corpse for 16,000 yuan, the Legal Daily reported Thursday. He and two accomplices then killed a prostitute and sold her for 8,000 yuan before police caught them.

"I did it for the money; it was a quick buck," Yang said, according to the paper. "If I hadn't slipped up early, I planned to do a few more."

Reuters Pictures
Photo

Editors Choice: Best pictures
from the last 24 hours.
View Slideshow

The women were victims of an old belief, still alive in the yellow-earth highlands of western China, that young men who die unmarried should go to their graves accompanied by deceased women who will be their wives in the afterlife. Often these women die natural deaths.

Police in Yanan, the poor and dusty corner of Shaanxi where Chairman Mao Zedong nurtured his Communist revolution, said the dark trade went beyond these cases.

"The actual number is far from just these," the paper said.

Yang and two helpers sold the bodies to Li Longsheng, an undertaker who police said specialized in buying and selling the dead women for "ghost weddings." It was unclear what happened to Li.

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

[pt]

good news for all of you in the states :p

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Talk about pennies from heaven.
ADVERTISEMENT

A potential shortage of coins in the United States could mean all those pennies in your piggy bank could be worth five times their current value soon, says an economist at the
Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago.

Sharply rising prices of metals such as copper and nickel have meant the face value of pennies and nickels are worth less than the material that they are made of, increasing the risk that speculators could melt the coins and sell them for a profit.

Such a risk spurred the U.S. Mint last month to issue regulations limiting melting and exporting of the coins.

But Francois Velde, senior economist at the Chicago Fed, argued in a recent research note that prohibitions by the Mint would unlikely deter serious speculators who already have piled up the coinage.

The best solution, Velde said, would be to "rebase" the penny by making it worth five cents rather than one cent. Doing so would increase the amount of five-cent coins in circulation and do away with the almost worthless one cent coin.

"History shows that when coins are worth melting, they disappear," Velde wrote.

"Rebasing the penny would ... debase the five-cent piece and put it safely away from its melting point," he added.

Raw material prices in general have skyrocketed in the last five years, sending copper prices to record highs of $4.16 a pound in May. Copper pennies number 154 to a pound. Prices have since come down from that peak but could still trek higher, Velde said.

Since 1982, the Mint began making copper-coated zinc pennies to prevent metals speculators from taking advantage of lofty base metal prices. Though the penny is losing its importance -- it is worth only four seconds of the average American's work time, assuming a 40-hour workweek -- the Mint is making more and more pennies.

Velde said that since 1982 the Mint has produced 910 pennies for every American. Last year there were 8.23 billion pennies in circulation, according to the Mint.

"These factors suggest that, sooner or later, the penny will join the farthing (one-quarter of a penny) and the hapenny (one-half of a penny) in coin museums," he said.

[pt]

EA BRIGHT, N.J. -- Love is patient; love is kind. And sometimes, love causes people to do strange things.

Four police officers, a bridge tender and two good Samaritans had to rescue a man who jumped off the Sea Bright-Rumson Bridge to impress a woman on their second date.

Police said Adam Koppel fell 20 to 30 feet into the frigid Shrewsbury River early Saturday.

The 25-year-old clung to the base of the bridge while police mobilized a rescue effort. They finally needed a rope and ladder to haul him in.

Police charged the Atlantic Highlands resident with disorderly conduct. But that wasn't the worst of it.

Sea Bright Police Chief William Moore told the Asbury Park Press the woman said there wouldn't be a third date.

love....... :p

[ex_reven]

EA BRIGHT, N.J. -- Love is patient; love is kind. And sometimes, love causes people to do strange things.

Four police officers, a bridge tender and two good Samaritans had to rescue a man who jumped off the Sea Bright-Rumson Bridge to impress a woman on their second date.

Police said Adam Koppel fell 20 to 30 feet into the frigid Shrewsbury River early Saturday.

The 25-year-old clung to the base of the bridge while police mobilized a rescue effort. They finally needed a rope and ladder to haul him in.

Police charged the Atlantic Highlands resident with disorderly conduct. But that wasn't the worst of it.

Sea Bright Police Chief William Moore told the Asbury Park Press the woman said there wouldn't be a third date.

love....... :p

what a dumbass

[tigger]

in the uk,the prisons are so full,they can only jail persistant offenders.

[ex_reven]

in the uk,the prisons are so full,they can only jail persistant offenders.

youd think people would go into business building and privately owning prisons
think of the fortune youd make

Johhny English style lol

[cdawall]

Why has this thread died?

i have been to lazy to post anything in it :D

[ex_reven]

In todays news:

Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi International Airport has already developed a cracked runway since its opening in September 2006. The airport, which was built on a landfill site fears that the runways are sinking due to substandard tarmac construction and areas of soil with less than ideal density. Airline officials state that the runways pose no risk to landing planes.

Italian cargo ship MSC Napoli was critically damaged during a storm off Branscombe beach in Southwestern english on January 18. Police enquiries are now underway into locating the 40 metal shiipping contained that washed ashore laden with BMW motorbikes and luxury cosmetics.

Estimates surfacing have suggested that around 345 thousand people died of measles in 2005. Although this is a 60% decrease from casulalties in 1999 this is still an existing problem in third world countries that cannot affor the 16 cent vaccine for measles.

Source: Time Magazine

[Lazzer408]

---FLASH!!---
My epenis has grown 1 post longer.

[ex_reven]

---FLASH!!---
My epenis has grown 1 post longer.

Hey! This thread is for FACTUAL news ;)

[Ben Clarke]

Teraflop Chip available

The Teraflops Research Chip is the latest development from the Intel® Tera-scale Computing Research Program. This chip is Intel’s first silicon tera-scale research prototype. It is the first programmable chip to deliver more than one trillion floating point operations per second (1 Teraflops) of performance while consuming very little power. This research project focuses on exploring new, energy–efficient designs for future multi–core chips, as well as approaches to interconnect and core–to–core communications. The research chip implements 80 simple cores, each containing two programmable floating point engines—the most ever to be integrated on a single chip. Floating point engines are used for accurate calculations, such as for graphics as well as financial and scientific modeling. In terms of circuit design, they are more complex than integer engines, which just process instructions.

Intel’s Teraflops Research Chip implements several innovations for multi-core architectures:
Rapid design – The tiled–design approach allows designers to use smaller cores that can easily be repeated across the chip. A single–core chip of this size (100 million transistors) would take roughly twice as long and twice as many people to design.
Network on a chip – In addition to the compute element, each core contains a 5–port messaging passing router. These are connected in a 2D mesh network that implement message–passing. This mesh interconnect scheme could prove much more scalable than today’s multi–core chip interconnects, allowing for better communications between the cores and delivering more processor performance.
Fine–grain power management – The individual compute engines and data routers in each core can be activated or put to sleep based on the performance required by the application a person is running. In addition, new circuit techniques give the chip world–class power efficiency—1 teraflops requires only 62W, comparable to desktop processors sold today.
And other innovations – Such as sleep transistors, mesochronous clocking, and clock gating.
Below is a summary of results from the research chip. Note that while performance gains can still be made through frequency scaling, there is a significant cost in terms of energy efficiency. This underscores the motivation to scale by utilizing more and more cores, instead of just increasing the frequency.

Frequency Voltage Power Aggregate Bandwidth Performance
3.16 GHz 0.95 V 62W 1.62 Terabits/s 1.01 Teraflops
5.1 GHz 1.2 V 175W 2.61 Terabits/s 1.63 Teraflops
5.7 GHz 1.35 V 265W 2.92 Terabits/s 1.81 Teraflops

ASCI Red was the first computer to benchmark at a teraflops (1996). That system used nearly 10,000 Pentium® Pro processors running at 200MHz and consumed 500kW of power plus an additional 500kW just to cool the room that housed it. Although not a general purpose computing device, this Teraflops Research Chip delivers 1.0 teraflops of performance and 1.6 terabits aggregate core to core communication bandwidth, while dissipating only 62W.

Bringing tera–scale computing to PCs and servers requires a new way of building processors that can be thought of as a network of powerful computers on a chip. This Teraflops Research Chip is one important example of how the Intel® Tera–scale Computing Research Program aims to change the future through constant hardware and software innovation.

Intel's reserach video is availble here: ftp://download.intel.com/research/platform/terascale/teraflops/teraflops_research_chip_long%20version_final_300K. wmv

Source: http://www.intel.com/research/platform/terascale/teraflops.htm?iid=homepage+80core

[PVTCaboose1337]

o the climbers got rescued! Yah, the dog saved them!